If you are having trouble finding time alone each day as a mom, here are my tips. I’ve had 5 kids in 5 years so I understand your struggle. Also, here’s some encouragement for the emotionally exhausted mom.
“Everyone just leave me alone for a few minutes,” I said.
“But, mama…” her sweet voice said in tears…“you don’t want to be alone because you’ll be sad.”
“No darling,” I said gently, “I promise I will not be sad even a little bit.”
Sweet thing. True story.
Young kids just don’t get the need to be alone.
Even though it benefits them, they can’t articulate its importance. We mothers, on the other hand, we do.
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Finding Time Alone As A Mom
There are times and seasons when we may find ourselves without the outlet of babysitters or family support. If you’ve just moved somewhere, are far from family, or have little money to put towards babysitters, then you need to work out a good strategy to wind down, process and get refreshed.
Part of the blessings and joys that come from a good schedule is the basic strategy of routine and order. You are able to prioritize your day based on the needs of your family.
By doing so you can find ways to get small breathers that help you to keep moving.
Read: 5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember
Schedule it in
Things like nap time, independent play time, and structured playtime between siblings are great for two reasons. One, they benefit the kids. Two, they benefit you.
Since I work from home I absolutely rise and fall with my schedule. Every morning and afternoon there is some allotted time in which I am alone. Whether it’s outdoor play in our holding pen fenced in play area or room time, I need time of peace and quiet.
I lay on the bed and read a book, take a nap or plan out something hobby or project related. I almost never do chores, wash dishes, clothes or do housework during this time.
For one thing I like to keep the house quiet, but for another I just decided I wouldn’t. A woman needs a little peace and quiet every now again. Particularly when she’s an only child who is from the country {ahem} and, therefore, used to silence.
Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane
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Self-Care Habit Tracker
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
Learn how to lock doors
And I’m not talking about closet doors with your children inside. Sometimes when I need a few minutes I tell my husband that I’m going into the bedroom and lock the door.
Locking the door is key.
If not, I will have barely positioned myself prostrate on the bed when the door opens and I hear “mommy, get up, mommy!” That, my friends, is not an environment conducive to relaxing.
Sometimes I’ll take a bath or long shower or go into the barn to work out and, while my husband or mother’s helper is on duty, I’ll lock the door. It may seem weird, but it has momentarily restored sanity for me many a time.
Sometimes even 15 uninterrupted minutes is the difference between a mother with no patience and a mother with enough patience to be sweet until bedtime. Or, even if I need to bring the babies along, at least I’m getting to do something for me.
If you need some time alone to reset, know that setting boundaries around that is important.
Your children can wait a few minutes, particularly if they are younger and being taken care of by someone else.
Don’t throw the time you have into the black hole
By black hole I mean things that may lead you to say “I just sat down and three hours have gone by for nothing.” These things will vary according to the person. Since I do a lot of work online, anything “screen” is typically a waste of time for me.
Completely non-relaxing. TV, Facebook, or Netflix may help me escape but, when I’m finished, I don’t feel refreshed.
For some those things may be exactly how you refresh. We’re all different. I try to make myself bake, sew, paint something, or read a book that actually has pages I am turning in my hand.
These things help me to feel like I had some of my own personal time. Know what your ‘black hole’ behaviors are and do your best to completely avoid them during your precious free moments.
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Slow Your Scroll Journaling Workbook
This workbook will help you break the escape that comes with grabbing your phone. Use this to start living in the present.
Learn MoreFind outside help
There are many other ways to get some time to yourself. Whether you hire a mother’s helper (this much more feasible than you think), a family member, a neighbor, your spouse, or you simply schedule it into your everyday life.
However you do it, make it a priority.
It isn’t the one hour here that gets you down. It’s the one hour here, one hour there, 50 hours later when you are on the verge of meltdown… Working some time to focus on you will make all the difference.
She might chase the 1 year old or empty the dishwasher or read to the kids or do awesome fun games with them. I might work, feed the baby, shower, read a book, or put away the laundry. Point is, I use that time to feel space and it’s worth every penny.
If we never get time alone we lose ourselves.
If we lose ourselves we stuff our emotions.
And, if we stuff our emotions we explode on everyone around us.
It is not easy, but it is simple.
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The post The Trick to Finding Time Alone as a Stay-At-Home Mom appeared first on A Mother Far from Home.